Things I've Picked Up in the Last 28 Years

With another year passing by me I decided to pass on what I have learned so far. It hasn't been much but I have managed to survive :) !

1. Don't tell anyone that Dr. Pepper is the nectar of the Gods, they will

only mock you for it!

2. That rainbow shorts are in fashion no matter what decade you are

in ( I wished I had a pair, I would totally wear them!)

3. If you don't love BYU, your father WILL disown you!

4. That I have been pregnant for years now but have never given birth. (What

is the deal? I suffer from cravings, fatigue, irritation from others, swelling, weight

gain and sweating to death!)

5. If LaNell ever asks you to go on a short shopping trip or a brief walk, just say NO!

6. Don't rub people's chest if it happens to be hairy :)

7. If your father calls you on the telephone and says "Coach to Jimmer, "

just pretend like you are a guy that just happens to play for BYU and chose not to

be offended because you weren't born male.

8. Never eat Burger King before you do an endowment session at the Reno temple, yes,

you will get food poisoning and throw up everywhere!

9. Whenever you are sad, depressed, neurotic, upset or about to die

because you are bleeding excessively out

of your vagina get a Haagen Daas, it will cheer you up.

10. Its always better to be a little on the chubbers side, people won't be that rude to

you in fear of getting sat on or being eaten :) ( I have been informed that

I eat little children!)