Rantings and Ravings

Well LaNell has reminded me that it has been too long and Sam is disappointed that I haven't shared our recent felon story so I guess its time to write.


Good News: Dan Brown sold me his camera and I am very happy with it!! Now I can have more pics on the blog. Thanks Dan!
Bad News: I forgot that I had the camera when I went to the Energy Solutions Arena & Temple Square and so there are no pictures to show for it (I'm an IDIOT!)


Good News: I got to go to the Energy Solutions Arena and watch the BYU vs. Utah State game which was awesome!!! (Go Cougars!)
Bad News: Several things! Our seats were so high up Sam & I wouldn't of stood a chance in the event of an earthquake. Second problem - who makes a poor chubby girl climb all of those steps, I thought I was going into cardiac arrest! Third problem - I think Sam Hancock looks for ways of getting me in trouble everytime we are around each other. This time he talked me into getting onto the TRAX without a ticket (there is a hefty fine involved if you are caught on there without a ticket, Sam you were wrong!) Fourth problem - Sam is no fighter, an army of ants could destroy him! I could have beaten him up before I turned 6 years old. I don't think he is aware of this because he started a fight with some Aggie fans (by the way we were surrounded by them.) So here I am thinking,"great Sam, we are going to get thrown out, I'm going to miss the game and you are going to get the crap beat out of yourself and I am probably going to end up fighting because it will make me feel bad to see you get hurt:)"


Good News: I got to go to the BYU vs. Portland game. Caleb Brown was in town and wanted to come with me. The Cougars won, we were 7-0.
Bad News: Caleb pleaded with me to get the lower bowl tickets which are 18.00 and not something I'm really willing to pay for but since he hadn't been to a BYU basketball game before I gave in. After half time I had to move because the seats were too uncomfortable for Caleb. He later ditched me for Sean Robertson, thanks a lot Caleb, no more games for you !!!!! :)


Good News: Than & Erica had their waissal party, Grandma Robertson's famous punch was there and I slammed Erica in a game of nertz
Bad News: Erica you didn't even make mention of such a party or the fact that I am the Queen of Nertz. The least you could have done was to take a picture of Joel and ask for money donations to get that kid a new wardrobe! Seriously Joel, that sweater looks like it was made by Mrs. Claus herself in 1903!

Good News: Jana had a girl, they are both doing well.
Bad News: It wasn't a boy so she couldn't name it Jimmer!!!!!

Good News: I get to go home for Christmas this Saturday!
Bad News: I have to go with Master Brown and Dan who likes to scare me so don't be surprised if I get to Oroville by way of heavy liqueur.

Please Forgive Me

I need to ask for forgiveness for 2 things: 1. For bothering half the people on my phone list and waking up my roommate. 2. For using this forum to act completely out of character & in a most ridiculous manner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think that I experienced the most exhilarating night of my life yesterday! As some of you know I have "thing" for Jimmer Fredette. Last night I was ushering at a UVU basketball game. I was on the floor because my boss knows I like to watch the games. All of a sudden I see 6 guys walking to their seats. Jimmer, Tavenari, Abouo and a couple of other fine looking brothers :). I felt as though I was going to burst at the seams (You know, the seams of my chubby suit that I wear around everyday!) I thought I was going to pass out from excitement!!! I know this sounds like something that would take place in the Anne of Green Gables series but seriously it makes me want to vomit just knowing that I am acting this retarded!

So after the game was over the group lingered around. I knew then that it was now or never so I mustered enough courage to go and approach the group. I talked to Tavenari first, by the way, that guy is hot and he is dark enough!!!! I told him that I enjoyed watching him play (sorry Michael, I do like him even when he misses his 3 pointers! :) I got to shake Abouo's hand and then I got to talk to Jimmer. He probably thought that there was a break out from the insane asylum but he was very cordial to me and I don't believe that he remembered me from the last time I made a complete fool in front of him so that was good. I told him that I wanted to exchange 2 tickets to the Wake Forest game (big game for those that don't know) for massage therapy. Who knows if these tickets will come through for me but he was nice about it and I enjoyed talking to him.

The last ridiculous fact that I would like to share is the fact that my stomach was so full of butterflies last night that I couldn't fall asleep until 2 am! Maybe I need to take a steady dose of sedatives so that eventually I can come down from cloud 9.

Thanksgiving in the Ghetto

After spending four transcendent days in Oroville, I now know what I'm thankful for during this "special " time of year.

1. A full set of teeth: I'm suprised that a dentist can survive in Oroville, who are they working on?

2. Information - this is what I learned over the week:

- Its possible to bleed inside your bones (Thanks Kaylee, I must have missed that episode of MASH!)

- In the book Twilight, Bella ends up becoming a vampire (Sorry if that ruined it for anyone
but you will see that I don't care!)

- I can no longer beat up my 6'4 300 lb brother (Guess I will have to hire a negro for that!)
(You should be happy Than!)

3. My Family: Yes, we are a compilation of lunatics & jack rolling dandies!

4. Food: There is nothing that could make a chubby girl happier thank 50 lbs of fattening , sweet, high carb and emotionally satisfying sustenance!

5. BYU sports: Even though I would like to do nothing better than bottle up leprosy and spread it all over Max Hall; Jimmer will probably never notice me and ESPN will never recognize BYU's skill until Sam Hancock starts working for them. I do love BYU sports!



All in all I had a very enjoyable visit except the time went by so quickly. I was afraid for a moment that I was going to have to spend my vacation inside a prison cell for harboring a felon. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, don't bother asking!)

The Hall of Horrors

This was a big weekend for me. Friday was filled with excitement as I started my Friday by watching the BYU basketball game. A co-worker was kind enough to give me his ticket because he couldn't attend. After I got my free ticket and enjoyed watching the Cougars slaughter house Rice I felt a surge of euphoria. I thought that nothing could stop the football team. I didn't sleep very well at night, it was like waiting for Santa Claus to come bursting down the chimney to bring a win for the Cougars (good thing LaNell doesn't have a chimney and I don't like sharing the cookies!) I was in such a good mood Saturday morning that I had made a big breakfast for my ungrateful roommates who seemed to be laughing at me due to outbursts of song & dance. We decided to do a video to commemorate BYU's win that was already in the bag (or so I thought, maybe I'm mentally retarded.) Just so everyone knows, my roommate Katie attended the University of Utah.

You Ain't Cool Unless You Pee Your Pants!

First off I just want to laugh at the fact that so many people complained about there being no blog entry so I put one up and then no one comments just because I use the word nigger. If thats all it takes so that I can end this silly masquerade of mindless chatter then I will be using that and other words more.



I was trying to think of what to talk about, I really wanted to talk about the BYU game that LaNell & I went to but LaNell's head was in the clouds thinking about Prince Charming and so she forgot the camera. Its sad because our seats were so good that I got to touch the hem of Jimmer's shirt (Don't mind me, I'm just slightly twiterpated!)The game was fun and luckily we won, thanks to Cummard.



I thought that I would take a moment to tell a sad story that LaNell has been nagging me to tell for ages now. Fortunately there is no picture to go along with it but I'm sure if Michael had a camera he would have been more than happy to snap a shot of me in a moment of embarassment!!!! LaNell likes to call me chuckles, tragically my insessant laughter problem caught up with me one day when I was hanging out with Michael. We had gone to lunch over in Chico and then decided to walk around in a park. For some reason Michael decided that he wanted to be the funniest person in the world. Of coarse as the jokes became increasingly funnier I could not stop laughing to the point of heart attack. I couldn't breathe and I had indulged in several Dr. Peppers so I was telling Michael to stop or I was going to pee my pants. He of coarse found this hilarious and continued. Of coarse the breaking point was when I realized that I should have invested in a package of Pampers! I didn't know what to do, I was frantically searching for a restroom but there was only a gathering hall that was being used by a wedding reception. So I had to do what any chubby girl would do and that is to charge into the reception and quickly find a bathroom. Luckily no one stopped me to inquire about my attire, I guess they thought that I was just there to indulge in the cake. Luckily I didn't have too bad an accident but I did think about murdering Michael & investing in a catheter. So in the words of Billy Madison, "you ain't cool unless you pee your pants!"

I've been tagged by Pops

Sorry Raeanne that it took me so long to respond to the tag. By the way, you should not be sleeping on your stomach, its horrible for your neck!!!!! 7 weird things, are you sure thats it because I could probably write a Pulitzer Prize winning novel. Here is goes:

1. I really can't find my way out of a paper bag!
2. I love water! Michael might be the only one to think thats weird!
3. I like black people more than white people.
4. I have a weird phobia about washing my hands (I do it like 20 - 30 times a day!)
5. I talk to myself all of the time (I guess that is because there is no one better to talk to! haha)
6. I didn't learn how to whistle until I was 19.
7. I love to wear flip flops year around.

Why I Love Dogs More Than People!

Maybe its my old age or maybe its because I've decided not to care if people get offended if I should choose to not like them. The other day I was informed that its alright if I don't want to get married as long as I get a dog. For the first time the marital advice was good!! Here are the reasons for me being bias towards dogs.

1. Unconditional love 24 - 7

2. They don't come with baggage.

3. They don't require diamonds or trucks, just a nice t-bone steak once in a while.

4. They don't act self righteous and express opinions that no one cares about.

5. If its a black dog you can call it nigger and it won't pull a blade out on you.

6. Doesn't judge its master even if the master happens to be chubby.

7. You don't have to share your chocolate with it (it can kill them!

8. There is no binding contract, the animal can be taken away at any time if you are displeased with it.

I forgot to add that they are usually adorable like Brewer up here (sorry I took your picture Jana) Alas, I cannot own a dog for fear of LaNell shooting it on site (yes she would!!!!)