How Do You Stop A Nose From Bleeding

Don't worry, they aren't used. Bushy was so kind in helping me with this project. We thought it would be cool to set up a scene from She's The Man. I love Bush, who else would have enough guts to do this with me. Try to divert your attention away from the tampons and look at our new hair cuts & colors. Sasha, Shannon's cousin did our hair yesterday, she did a great job! The only problem I have with this pic is the fact that Shannon is so pretty, it makes me want to set a crocodile loose on her face :).

On Sunday we had Jana & Ben over for dinner. There is no picture of this event because I hate to memorex grown ups crying :)! After dinner we decided to play nertz (yes this happened by coercion on my part!). I did promise to not yell so I was hoping to get Ben as my partner (it seems like its a little harder to yell at him because he is fun to be around.) When I got LaNell I wasn't a bundle of fireworks excited to light up and entertain everyone. I want to make a public apology to you LaNell for not trusting in you. I'm not going to say that we beat them, we slaughtered, conquered and defeated them. The first game was 100 to 12. The second game was a little more evened up but we won by 40 some odd points. I was extremely happy!!!

The next pic is of LaNell and I at a basketball game. Its not just any basketball game, it is a high school basketball game. Lone Peak vs. Pleasant Grove. For those that don't know BYU is recruiting 2 players from Lone Peak High, Tyler Haws and Nate Austin. The game was incredibly fun and I enjoyed getting a sneak preview of what BYU is going to get. Tyler Haws is an incredible basketball player, he is the go to guy. Nate Austin is 6'11 and a great blocker but he needs to beef up and work on his shooting. LaNell and I had a couple of laughs, we forgot what it was like to be at a high school game. The game was really intense and Lone Peak ended up winning by 6 points.

Last story. LaNell will have to post a picture of her new television. Its a 32' Emerson, very nice. Here is the funny part. 32 inches is not small so you would think that I would notice it right away but I happen to be mentally retarded. I was watching the BYU basketball game on Saturday. BYU lost by 19 (yes count them up) points!!!!!!!!!!!! I was so mad that I left after the game to burn some steam off. I ran out of things to do so I ended up coming home. Dan & LaNell were waiting for my excited reaction but instead they got nothing less than a look that suggested (if you even talk to me, I will give you a verbal thrashing!) So I went into the kitchen and drowned my sorrows in my choice beverage. After about 20 minutes I walked back into the living room and realized that there was a new TV there. Good thing LaNell got a new TV because I wasn't seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I think LaNell was wondering when I was going to notice. I love the TV, its very nice but the great thing about it is that there is a remote that works (this is something important in a chubby girls life!)

Becky & I Are Twiners!

Its a good thing that Becky Hancock and I aren't incharge of any prison camps. The prisoners wouldn't last 10 minutes before they broke down, bursting into tears. Becky and I go way back starting off with her babysitting Shane and I. I believe she was unaware but Joe and Than used to lock Shane and I up in the bedrooms and told us we would get beaten up if we tried to leave. Unfortunately we were both rather naive and small. Joe & Than, I would pay money for you 2 to try that now :)!

Becky is awesome for the following reasons:

1. We are a lot alike so therefore who can dispute our transcendency.

2. Sarcasm is what we eat, drink, pee and breathe. (Aside from Dr.Pepper of course.)

3. You always know where you stand with her, there definitely isn't any beating around the bush!

4. She always complimented me on my rainbow shorts :) I wish I could still fit into those ahaha.

5. She would let me come over and hang out with her when I didn't want to go to school.

6. She would let Michelle Rotar and I jump into the slime infested pool in the middle of the fall.

7. She has never told me that I need to change even though I know there is a lot of room for improvement.

8. She loves animals.

9. She would look the other way when Michelle and I would raid the Little Debbie truck :).

Thanks for being awesome! You are the greatest!

Life in Janaville

Some people may not understand this picture so here is some background. Angelee posted some pictures during Christmas time and Erica couldn't help but to tell Angelee that they were "samers." Jana then proceded to write about a so called city that will be named Janaville.

First off - here is LaNell and I as "samers." I can handle nopers and yepers but samers .... what has this world come to? Jana I hope that you will forbid these kind of words should I chose to come live in your sarcastic kingdom:).

Life in Janaville - This is what I'm imagining

1. No one would go hungry or naked because we would have Joel ship food & clothing in from China.

2. There would be a 7v on every corner to accomodate the soda addicts (I'm not the only one!)

3. We would have a college team that would compete in the Mountain West Conference (this team could actually play defense!)

4. We have to have a Charlie's - maybe we could send Angelo to the back cooking area to steal the recipes.

5. I will run a day care program for all the little kiddies because I love kids!

6. The color pink would NOT be allowed, so sorry Pilar, you won't be able to live here.

7. To go along with the 7v on every corner there would need to be a gym on every corner or otherwise LaNell refuses to come along (she could also serve in the capacity of telling people if they are too chubby.)

8. We have to have a ghetto somewhere just so everyone doesn't feel like they are in the wrong place.

Oroville is great!

The Joys of Christmas

Of course I have a lot to write about when I go home for Christmas. Why do I enjoy Oroville so much?? It was an eventful trip as always so hopefully I can point out the highlights without to much frivolity.

Highlight #1 Going Home

If you ask LaNell if I'm a selfish person she will say yes. Apparently the midsize vehicle didn't have enough room to accommodate all of my toiletries, frilly pink bows and my father's meat pies (don't ask.) Because of my selfishness LaNell couldn't bring her exercising equipment which includes weights, the stretchy rubber bands, the ab roller, an olyptical and a medicine ball :). Sam Hancock was kind enough to let me put some of my stuff in his car. I wanted to make this comment because a lot of people don't think Sam is very nice but I'm here to say that he isn't a jerk, he just doesn't possess any tact :). After Dan & I sang a few Christmas carols we were told to shut up. I would like to say that the day went well but to my dismay BYU did not have an over achieving day!!!! SIDE NOTE: As you can see in the picture Dan is either really excited to go home or he just realized that the 2 glasses of prune juice he drank in the morning is going to exit before he gets home :).

Highlight #2 Rock Band

Master Brown and I decided to go to Angelee's one evening. My expectations of being entertained were exceeded. The Petersens got the Rock Band game. I taped 2 different recordings but unfortunately Angelee prohibited me posting the second. Needless to say Angelee has quit a knack for singing. Besides getting to hear her sing I also saw the reasons why no other mother will be able to buy their daughter pink & brown clothing , its because Angelee has purchased every article of clothing!

Highlight #3 I got Jewed

I just want to complain about not getting any mandarins or grapefruit. I'm not going to name any names but I will say that if I don't get a crate full of mandarins and grapefruit names will show up on my hate list for depriving a chubby girl of essential nourishment.

Final Highlight #4 The Video

So a little background for a moment. For Emily Taylor's 14th birthday there was a small sleepover party at the Taylor's house. The guests included Michelle, Jennie, Erica Pratt, Brittney, LaNell, Angelee and I. I don't know what it is about video cameras but when they come out people seem to do crazy things. Somehow we all decided to become pregnant and do a talk show about it. When Emily was home for Christmas I decided to go visit her and I requested that we watch the video. Needless to say I was enthralled completely. Erica was the interviewer and since I was banned from putting the video on the blog I thought I would do a little game instead.

This is the guessing game. I will put either a quote or action of someone at the party and you guess who spoke or acted.

"I was raped when I was 13 years old."

" I don't know who the father is (this was done in bursting sobs)!"

Someone was convulsing on the floor in the middle of child labor.

" I hope the stork brings me a baby girl." (Somebody needs to sit her down and talk!)

Someone punched there stomach in several times, I'm assuming they changed their mind about having a child.

Someone not only stuffed their stomach with a balloon but also their butt and chest.

Erica asked someone what they were going to name their child, the person responded with,"I"m going to name my child Pain."

All in all Christmas was fun. I almost didn't return to Utah because right as I was about to leave I was informed that "there is nothing special about Utah and why does everyone have to leave?"

Becky, I just want to hold your hand and tell you that everything is going to be alright :)!

Rantings and Ravings

Well LaNell has reminded me that it has been too long and Sam is disappointed that I haven't shared our recent felon story so I guess its time to write.


Good News: Dan Brown sold me his camera and I am very happy with it!! Now I can have more pics on the blog. Thanks Dan!
Bad News: I forgot that I had the camera when I went to the Energy Solutions Arena & Temple Square and so there are no pictures to show for it (I'm an IDIOT!)


Good News: I got to go to the Energy Solutions Arena and watch the BYU vs. Utah State game which was awesome!!! (Go Cougars!)
Bad News: Several things! Our seats were so high up Sam & I wouldn't of stood a chance in the event of an earthquake. Second problem - who makes a poor chubby girl climb all of those steps, I thought I was going into cardiac arrest! Third problem - I think Sam Hancock looks for ways of getting me in trouble everytime we are around each other. This time he talked me into getting onto the TRAX without a ticket (there is a hefty fine involved if you are caught on there without a ticket, Sam you were wrong!) Fourth problem - Sam is no fighter, an army of ants could destroy him! I could have beaten him up before I turned 6 years old. I don't think he is aware of this because he started a fight with some Aggie fans (by the way we were surrounded by them.) So here I am thinking,"great Sam, we are going to get thrown out, I'm going to miss the game and you are going to get the crap beat out of yourself and I am probably going to end up fighting because it will make me feel bad to see you get hurt:)"


Good News: I got to go to the BYU vs. Portland game. Caleb Brown was in town and wanted to come with me. The Cougars won, we were 7-0.
Bad News: Caleb pleaded with me to get the lower bowl tickets which are 18.00 and not something I'm really willing to pay for but since he hadn't been to a BYU basketball game before I gave in. After half time I had to move because the seats were too uncomfortable for Caleb. He later ditched me for Sean Robertson, thanks a lot Caleb, no more games for you !!!!! :)


Good News: Than & Erica had their waissal party, Grandma Robertson's famous punch was there and I slammed Erica in a game of nertz
Bad News: Erica you didn't even make mention of such a party or the fact that I am the Queen of Nertz. The least you could have done was to take a picture of Joel and ask for money donations to get that kid a new wardrobe! Seriously Joel, that sweater looks like it was made by Mrs. Claus herself in 1903!

Good News: Jana had a girl, they are both doing well.
Bad News: It wasn't a boy so she couldn't name it Jimmer!!!!!

Good News: I get to go home for Christmas this Saturday!
Bad News: I have to go with Master Brown and Dan who likes to scare me so don't be surprised if I get to Oroville by way of heavy liqueur.

Please Forgive Me

I need to ask for forgiveness for 2 things: 1. For bothering half the people on my phone list and waking up my roommate. 2. For using this forum to act completely out of character & in a most ridiculous manner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think that I experienced the most exhilarating night of my life yesterday! As some of you know I have "thing" for Jimmer Fredette. Last night I was ushering at a UVU basketball game. I was on the floor because my boss knows I like to watch the games. All of a sudden I see 6 guys walking to their seats. Jimmer, Tavenari, Abouo and a couple of other fine looking brothers :). I felt as though I was going to burst at the seams (You know, the seams of my chubby suit that I wear around everyday!) I thought I was going to pass out from excitement!!! I know this sounds like something that would take place in the Anne of Green Gables series but seriously it makes me want to vomit just knowing that I am acting this retarded!

So after the game was over the group lingered around. I knew then that it was now or never so I mustered enough courage to go and approach the group. I talked to Tavenari first, by the way, that guy is hot and he is dark enough!!!! I told him that I enjoyed watching him play (sorry Michael, I do like him even when he misses his 3 pointers! :) I got to shake Abouo's hand and then I got to talk to Jimmer. He probably thought that there was a break out from the insane asylum but he was very cordial to me and I don't believe that he remembered me from the last time I made a complete fool in front of him so that was good. I told him that I wanted to exchange 2 tickets to the Wake Forest game (big game for those that don't know) for massage therapy. Who knows if these tickets will come through for me but he was nice about it and I enjoyed talking to him.

The last ridiculous fact that I would like to share is the fact that my stomach was so full of butterflies last night that I couldn't fall asleep until 2 am! Maybe I need to take a steady dose of sedatives so that eventually I can come down from cloud 9.

Thanksgiving in the Ghetto

After spending four transcendent days in Oroville, I now know what I'm thankful for during this "special " time of year.

1. A full set of teeth: I'm suprised that a dentist can survive in Oroville, who are they working on?

2. Information - this is what I learned over the week:

- Its possible to bleed inside your bones (Thanks Kaylee, I must have missed that episode of MASH!)

- In the book Twilight, Bella ends up becoming a vampire (Sorry if that ruined it for anyone
but you will see that I don't care!)

- I can no longer beat up my 6'4 300 lb brother (Guess I will have to hire a negro for that!)
(You should be happy Than!)

3. My Family: Yes, we are a compilation of lunatics & jack rolling dandies!

4. Food: There is nothing that could make a chubby girl happier thank 50 lbs of fattening , sweet, high carb and emotionally satisfying sustenance!

5. BYU sports: Even though I would like to do nothing better than bottle up leprosy and spread it all over Max Hall; Jimmer will probably never notice me and ESPN will never recognize BYU's skill until Sam Hancock starts working for them. I do love BYU sports!



All in all I had a very enjoyable visit except the time went by so quickly. I was afraid for a moment that I was going to have to spend my vacation inside a prison cell for harboring a felon. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, don't bother asking!)